Sensory awareness

Last night I went to a seminar on sensory awareness and how it affects people on the autistic spectrum. Ironically one of my memories of the night will be the constant whirring of the projector and the stark lighting highlighting to me my own sensory issues! It was a good night (if long - from 5:00-9:30 at night!) and once again helped me to understand S so much more as he perfectly fit into most of the classic categories for sensory perception difficulties. It was suggested we imagined sitting in a room on a broken stool, at a wobbly table, with the radio untuned on in the background with shoes on that are a size too small wearing a scratchy shirt whilst having the after taste of sardines mixed with coffee in our mouths. That, it was suggested is the bombardment on the senses it can be akin to when you are on the spectrum. Whilst folks not on the spectrum can intuitively block out senses people with ASD struggle to do this. Eye contact can be physically painful as can be slight touch or sounds. The same day however can result in a need for deep touch which only hours earlier could have tipped the balance. It really was interesting but also reassuring that we are doing the right things with S. The biggest thing I will take from the evening is that if I can help it at all there is no way S will be returning to school! Circumstances may change for us at some point and finances don't flow but really having heard most of the sensory challenges that face a child on the spectrum an overwhelming number of them were school related! It was such a relief to hear of all the things we have eliminated for S in an already tricky world! It's given me the encouragement I needed at a good time to persevere and to plod on! On that note we are having a bit of an impromptu inservice day. I need to get planning ahead as the day to day approach is not really working and leads to too much "dead" time.

We've got that Friday feeling!

We really both have that Friday feeling!! The sun is out (well, intermittently anyway) and the weekend is fast approaching and motivation has disappeared! Days like this in home ed are still a bit of a dilemma to me. The trained teacher in me wants to persevere with my plan, complete the week "properly" and not give in to the strong desire to down tools and go do something else. The mummy in me however is seeing a tired boy and a tired mummy paying lip service to education today and thinking that rather than sitting at the desk in body only we should call it a day and head out. In fact, just writing this I think we might just do that! We have had a productive week. We have completed our second full maths workbook of th academic year. For me, this gives me a huge sense of achievement as S's teacher. When he started home ed I ad to backtrack on where the school had said he was. We have now more than caught up I think and are ready to start p6 work almost a full term early :) Englsh is not so secure but working with a child with specific language difficulties presents daily challenges and my aim is to instil in S a love of stories (not reading necessarily but just enjoying losing himself in a different world!) and also an ability to use writing to get through life! We will struggle on with spelling and grammar! In topic our Earthwormery has produced another wee worm so S now keeps an eye on the worm wry, watering and feeding which is good for him to have a bi of responsibility. We started looking at "computers" learning what a CPU is and what RAM is and when the first computer was invented. I am completely out of my depth here!!! We did move on to learn how to format a document with a picture in it so that was fun. Other than at we have continued with our bible study on Abraham and looked at the concept of "covenant" this week which was good and we had really interesting conversations around that and following God's promises through the Old Testament and seeing them being fulfilled. We have also started to write a story about superheroes that we will write together. I have made up a superhero and S has made up two. Together we will write about their adventures and eventually make a wee movie or comic! Finally, yesterday we wen on a great 5 mile walk with friends. We are pulling back a wee bit on home ed network activities as S is struggling with them but will keep on meeting with our friends and we had a great day yesterday at Dumfries House. S was shattered at the end. So, actually, we've done quite a lot this week so I think we can with a clear conscience head to the shops :)

Simple Solutions

So term is underway! S has kicked the term off in predictable fashion of complete lack of co-operation which challenges my new found optimism no end but so far he's not destroyed that! Really he needs to read the blog and keep up with my thinking! Lol! If only it were that simple. Anyway, after a very gentle ease in baking yesterday and planning the term we properly got back into the maths, English and more formal learning today. Overall it was. Good day. He wasn't co-operative and was very grumpy with himself at any mistakes he made but by the end of our morning we had achieved quite a lot. We nearly had a meltdown during maths at something very simple. Before Christmas we learnt about net shapes and made up several 3d shapes using their nets made out of paper. Knowing that the topic would come back I kept our shapes and they have been gathering dust nicely up on our home school shelves. (Completely ignored for the duration by S may I add). Well today our task was to identify the base of open cube nets. So, I opened up our cube and cut the net into the 6 squares so that we could form the 8 different nets needed. Well you would have thought I was cutting up one of his favourite toys! He was gutted! This is one of those moments where I find it really difficult to not lose my patience! Apparently autistic children often think inanimate objects have feelings. Perhaps that is what was going on. Who knows but another reminder of how something simple can transform the day! A better experience was during our English time when we looked at our Abraham workbook. This involves flicking back and forwards in the book a lot which is not great for S to keep up with. I downloaded the version of the Bible onto the iPad and what a difference! The version I found is great and if you touch the verse you are looking at it highlights it. Perfect for S and even he admitted what a difference the Bible app made to his enjoyment of studying Abraham. So, a simple solution to one problem anyway.

Philosophy and worms!

I would hazard a guess that most folks won't generally warm to a blog with this title! In fact, no doubt lots of people won't read any further but believe it or not I'm very excited about the fact that we've got worms! Last term we set up an earthwormery. S really enjoyed the process of ordering the eggs himself, filling in all the forms online and waiting for them to come. To me to be totally honest I was more excited at using up the earthwormery I'd ordered ages ago and clearing out another space in the house! S has started a wee diary of the earthwormery and dutifully filled it all in. That must have been about 6 weeks ago. I was convinced we'd killed them all off!! As the eggs gathered foost and the signs of life inside the eggs seemed to die off I was trying to work out some way of telling S it was all over! Children with Asperger's don't cope well with throwing things away or things dying or breaking (well S certainly doesn't) and this seemingly great idea was looking like going completely pear shaped! However, last night to much excitement S's dad announced that we had a worm! This worm to me is significant! Last term was a struggle. I didn't enjoy home school! My heart was not in it and it seemed a long term! It's amazing how quickly a bitterness can build up and it's not very easy to contain that! The seeming death of our earthwormery reflected to me how I felt about things. The temptation to throw it out and be done with it was strong! Yet we have a worm! The Easter holidays have been a very significant time for me to reflect, read, pray and reassess life! That might sound all a bit philosophical and it is! With all sorts going on in our family life to do with health, career, house, future, everything really it would have been hard not to get quite philosophical! I can thankfully say this time for me has been so valuable and turned around what was a growing bitterness into a hopeful (much humbled) new start! Does that make sense? This little worm to me signifies a new start for us in home school. What looked dead and hopeless has suddenly had a new chance! Term officially started today. A very kind friend (S's leader at church) offered to take S for the day which was so kind! Tomorrow we will begin "work" properly with a new attitude (well from mum anyway!) Carrying on the philosophical thread... Recently I have been aware how much of a learning curve life is for S's siblings. More and more they are beginning to notice things that S just cannot cope with and are learning where their input can either help or hinder. S's brother came into the kitchen the other day and asked if there was one thing I could ask for in the world what would it be. I replied that I'd like Jesus to return. He replied, "Mum, would you not like S not to have Aspergers anymore?". Gosh! Do you know if someone had asked me that 18 months ago I would have said, "Yes!" no question. If someone had asked if I'd have liked S to be born without all the difficulties he has had I woul have said yes no problem. Just now if someone offered to take away all the tricky bits of life there is a huge temptation to say yes. But do you know, I realised when I answered my son that things have changed a lot. I told him that no I didn't wish for S not to have Aspergers as that is who S is. I said that really what we should ask to change is us! We need to learn to love S more and more for who he is and accept him. God has given S to our family because we are the ones to love him the most. I've reflected over my son's question so much since he asked it. It's made me realise how selfish we as humans can be. I'm not for one minute accusing my son of that! He is a child, naturally making sense of a pretty massive issue in our family life. As adults though it's made me think how much we want to change things to fit into our own mould of how things should be. I think that is quite possibly the route of my bitterness last term. S doesn't like being out and about in unknown situations. Noise bothers him. People asking him lots of questions bothers him. Making sense of situations bothers him. I no doubt bother him. That all bothers me! Instead of wanting to change him my job as a mum is to love him more and more each day. I've got a God who loves me so much despite all the things I constantly do which no doubt upset and hurt Him! Phew, this is getting a bit deep! I promise my blog entries will return to some sort of mundane educational lesson descriptions! I should go now actually and plan the next few days/weeks. All this optimism and new attitude could come crashing down if I am not one step ahead of my boy!

Contentment

Ok s my blog posts could be like buses! None for months and then 2 close together! I wanted to share about our day yesterday. I've written before about our trips to the farm and all our escapades. Well, yesterday as it is the school holidays I took all 4 kids down to the farm and we had such a brilliant day! Not only did we see the chickens, the lambs, the cows being milked and have a play in the farm but we were shown the egg sorting machine, explained about what was about to happen to all the chickens (which exposed our non farming minds to all sorts!) and we got to feed the lambs. S was absolutely in his element. I rarely see him happier! Not only to be out in the fresh air but to be sharing one of his favourite places with his siblings made for a very happy wee boy. His big brother struggled to share in this passion but I think it was so good for them to see S just so happy and free. Real contentment! Meanwhile I'm always constantly amazed at my friend's contentment too. She has 7 kids, is a farmer's wife and gets no time to herself yet radiates peace and contentment! She doesn't have to look far for things that could stress her but has such a deep faith that permeates everything! I asked her if she ever gets fed up with the mundane yesterday and I don't think she ever does. I think my question highlighted more to me a lack of contentment I didn't actually realise was there in myself! I was challenged in that alone! To spend a day with such folks is always so good and to see S so happy is a gift! Ironically, I'm writing a post about contentment at 6:00 in the morning! My other half and I have been awake for ages! I just found this quote which sums up the feelings of present insomnia. Perhaps with more contentment would come less 4 am secrets!!! “The night is the hardest time to be alive and 4am knows all my secrets.” Poppy Z Brite

Character building for both!

A whole term has passed now and I've not been blogging at all! I'm so aware of how much I can write about the last term and how much I could bore everyone so will attempt to give a picture of our past term and where we are now. Be prepared for a long one!!!! We've now home schooled for 18 months! I can't actually believe that it has been so long. A couple of folks recently have started asking how we went about home schooling because they are thinking about doing it too. When I reflect on our journey I am quite amazed at our path! If I am being entirely honest if I didn't feel called to do this for S I wouldn't be doing it still! We feel so strongly though that this is the right thing for him that that overides my selfish thoughts to jack it all in! As ever I'm not sure who is learning more! S is clearly learning academically but I feel like I myself have been on a huge journey particularly through this term of what my role here is and how much I need to learn. More on that later. So, this term... Following my op and recovery I am back to good health. S has mixed feelings about this as he knew that that also meant back to more formal home schooling than before. Having said that we have never really returned to quite as formal learning as we did pre op. The jury is still out on whether or not this is a good thing! Rather than describe everything I'll give an overview of our term. Academically we have worked through a stack of work. This term S has almost completed the entire "Year 5" math's workbook! S is naturally quite good with maths. The work is getting harder and so I need to be on the ball and a step ahead of him. He is beginning to see the real practicalities of what we are doing in maths which is good. I wish I'd understood that as early as him! Maths and English are the 2 subjects we try to do daily. I have laid off the pressure of spelling and writing this term as S finds both very stressful. We have continued to read and to work our way through a literacy workbook which in turn I am noticing his spelling begin to pick up and likewise when he makes the effort the little writing he has done has improved. English is going to be a tricky area and with S's various language difficulties I constantly worry that I am not doing things right with him. His memory difficulties really do not help with either maths or english as I can feel that I've taught a concept, mastered it and we can move on and then when we revisit it another time it can be as if we've never done it at all! S is really enjoying being read to. We have read through a lot of books together and he managed to read a whole book to me without paired reading which was fantastic. He tires quickly and I have become so aware of this this term. My sister (an English teacher) pointed out his tiredness and the mistakes that came with the tiredness so I'm taking the foot off the gas a bit and reading to him when he's done a bit. I still love it when he giggles his way through a story. To make a book come alive is such a treat - particularly when I know it is such a struggle for him to understand what we are reading. Lego has become a big part of our week. Through Lego "Build to Express" and other Lego Education we now have specific tasks to build and discuss together, then film and share with our home school friends over "Edmodo" - an educational social networking site. S loves this! It combines technology with lego - 2 of his favourite things. It can easily go off task so I need to stick with him but can see huge potential here! Other than that we have done lots more! We looked at food & nutrition and plants & life cycles in topic work and with his speech therapist he has studied China which he loved! We have also introduced "Inductive Bible Study" to our week. I think in truth I am more excited about this than S but have been so impressed at the material and the way that S can understand the Bible with really very little effort! The material we use has covered pronouns, context, questionning and all sorts of grammar concepts alongside real challenges of the big questions of life. Socially things have not been great! S would quite happily live in the house all day every day and not leave! As a family he is happy to go out but more and more he did begin to withdraw even from his siblings which was a concern. Thankfully this has improved over the past couple of weeks and I actually need to remember how tired he gets. The social isolation I find the hardest thing to deal with in home education. It has highlighted to me how different S and I are in our characters. Whilst I do need time to switch off and to be on my own I thrive by being busy and being with people. S thrives by being on his own! Not so compatible!! I think this term I have tended to overcompensate my need to be busy and be with people and have gone into overdrive which is not ideal either! The more the term has gone on the more I've been aware that the issues are more with me than with S! He's content, happy, secure and learning! What more could I want? He's beginning to want to learn how to deal with things he finds hard and is beginning to verbalise things that he finds difficult. We are beginning to be able to pre-empt frustrations and try to deal with them ahead of the reality. That is great! I need though to be a diligent teacher and mum and settle! I think ultimately though being with my children 24/7 is taking a toll and we haven't yet struck the correct balance of time out for me! I feel really quite guilty if I am not with family or being "productive" and doing some sort of task! I think both of us would benefit so much more if we could work out some way of having a semi regular time out from each other and then appreciate each other so much more. But, the reality is we live in a busy house, with busy lives, with an awful lot going on just now! My husband is very busy and I don't actually feel I want to pile any more onto him as I couldn't ask for a more supportive, loving husband! Everybody lives busy lives these days and the daily juggle of all that goes on is true for everyone - so I feel that my aim has to be to pray that this calling me become more second nature and to be more peaceful! In our own family life just now there are additional stresses going on and I am aware how much they are affecting me and when you are home educating a child it is very hard for that not to affect what goes on there. I am constantly helped by my home ed friends, who do things very differently from me and who are great at keeping me on track and helping me not to be beating myself with a stick about what I'm not doing and instead seeing what we are doing together. With a mix of kids at school though and kids at home it is very easy to worry that you are short changing your child! So that's our term. I hope I'm not overstepping the blogging purpose here but i want to be honest. For others starting the journey on home schooling I think it is important to see the highs and the lows. This term has been a struggle but life is a journey and we will move on! Next term S has asked to learn how a computer is built and made. When I told him I have no ideas he said, "Well mum, we can learn together!" Surely that is a response I could only have dreamt of this time last year! So, the books are ordered and have arrived and we're going to learn together and actually I'm quite excited! With the possible coming of spring/summer and the sunshine I'm optimistic and looking forward to another term! Thanks for sticking with me. It's been a big encouragement to have folks asking after the blog and to know that our Christian friends are praying for us means so much that a mere thank you does not come close to! I promise I will try to be more regular at blog updates!