I have held off writing this blog for so long but thought today seemed an appropriate day to come complete circle and close this chapter of the blog. So much to say and my head does not feel particularly clear so forgive me if I digress...
Just over a month ago our family moved. I know that within the course of home schooling, and this blog we moved before and I wrote about balancing home school with a move. This time the move was much bigger. As a family we have just moved region, moved house, moved friends, moved church and moved absolutely everything. Increasingly as we thought about the move, which we all knew was coming many many months before it actually materialised, it was becoming clearer that this was maybe the time for S to return to school. During this academic year his big brother has started to have friends home and to spend time hanging out with his friends and this really bothered S. For the first time he really noticed that he didn't have anybody to hang out with. His nearest home school buddy, whom he loves, lives 45 mins away so not someone we can just spontaneously get together with. The motivation to go back to school seemed to happen really very quickly and so the ball was set in motion.
Having gone through such a long process of 'deschooling' at the beginning (breaking through the stress barrier and working through all the issues that had caused S so much stress) it was quite a thought to phone a council and actually ask if S could go back to school! Knowing that placing 4 children in school could be quite a job I phoned a full 2 months before we moved and spoke/emailed all the various people involved in placing children in schools. I had picked up only negative vibes about our catchment school so rightly or wrongly I requested that the children were placed elsewhere. I would have visited our catchment school but I have previously made the mistake of putting them into a local school without knowing all the facts and vowed to myself I would never be so naive again!
There are lots of wee bits in between but S started school with his siblings one month ago! The school have been fantastic! For the first 3 weeks S went every morning but only some afternoons so as not to overwhelm him having been used to one-to-one and not a school environment. This just increased to full time this week.
S is a completely different child. I know that the folks who have just met us wonder what we are talking about when we describe some of the difficulties S has had. He seems confident, he joins in with things, he is obedient, he is sleeping ok, he is reading (1.5 hours one night!!!) and is clearly quite happy at the moment. It's early days and we have no doubt whatsoever that there will be battles ahead but are so pleased that this early transition has gone so smoothly. From the child we took away from school 2.5 years ago we have returned a different child to school. He is happy and that is just amazing!
Personally I think i might be experiencing empty nest syndrome! I'm finding it very wierd not having any children at home. For 12.5 years I have had kids at home. I did get an 8 week stretch when our youngest girls went to school but within that time I spent hours and weeks preparing for S to be at home. Now I have no children and nothing in particular to prepare! Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't want any of them home again now. I am loving the fact that I am pure mum now and don't need to worry about academic achievements and no longer have the responsibility hanging over my shoulders of what I should be doing and what we've failed to do! I have absolutely no regrets at all about home schooling S. I really hope that the 2 + years we gave him is what he needed just to find his feet in his childhood and to realise his own value and be able to cope in the harsh playground and classroom. It could, of course, be the fact that simply 2 years of maturing has helped this transition to go so smoothly but I do hope that the time at home has contributed to him as a person overall.
For me, I don't think I would ever home school again! The toll it has taken on me has been so much bigger than I could ever have anticipated. As a parent you want to be able to do anything for your child and when you see one struggle your instinct is to support and to help and to do all within your power to change or to sort the situation. This is what we did with S. Home schooling has many many positive aspects and I've met some amazing mums from whom I have learnt so much about treasuring my children and really learning who they are. However, I've found home schooling to be an incredibly lonely place to be. It's a job all in itself and has pulled me away from being with people and circulating in a way that I've come to realise I need! My youngest children joke with me about it being their turn. I would struggle so much if it looked like they needed time out as I honestly don't think I could do it again.
I am excited now as to what the future holds! For S, I'm excited to see where his confidence will lead him. Thankfully academically he seems to be in a good place and I am looking forward to see him now spread his wings and head into the pre-teen stage. For me, the world feels like it's my oyster! I am a qualified teacher but everything within me is saying that teaching for me is over! My husband is a minister and that opens so many doors to be able to be involved in people's lives and to make a difference. I might not earn a penny doing this but I'm excited about the possibilities that lie ahead and am fortunate enough that no-one seems to be in any rush for me to be busy!
So as my blog comes to an end I want to thank you again for sticking with us! The support of friends and family has been amazing and I've been really amazed by folks who have taken the time to read the blog and follow our journey. A few folks have asked if they can share the blog with folks thinking about home schooling. Absolutely! Part of my reason in writing the blog was to give a realistic view of home schooling a child with additional needs at home. If this can help in any way I am delighted. I know I will have done things wrong or in a way you might think is a bit daft but if this blog can prevent someone else from my pitfalls then that's great! I'd love to hear from you if you are keen to start the journey or if you have any comments but from me and S, as we step out into the world once again, thank you!
