Regaining some perspective

If there is one thing I am learning about home schooling is that you can never assume you are "sorted" and that you have "nailed it"!

Last week was positive at the end.  This week has been a rollercoaster!  I have had to be forced into reviewing everything I am doing having come to a crunch point with S this week.  His lack of co-operation really got to me at the beginning of the week and I took some time out while S played with his dad (on his dad's day off).  I only needed an hour away but was so important and helped me to refocus and realise that a massive amount of his frustration was caused by me!

I have been asking him to do far far too much every morning.  The timer system we started (did I mention that last week - I can't remember) actually helped not just S but me to see how much work I was giving him!  Even once "complaining" time was deducted off the time he was doing well over an hour of maths work and English work.  He is 8!  He is not about to sit standard grade exams!  On a one-to-one basis that is far too much!  The task I'd given him which tipped him over the edge on Monday was a book report.  Now while I don't actually think a book report is a bad thing at all the way I'd presented it to him was way beyond him!  I'd given him a list of 8 questions I wanted him to include in a book report.  In retrospect that was BONKERS!!  He is 8, with a language difficulty!  What on earth was he going to make of all that!

So, when I returned that night I had a surf on the net to find book report templates and started again.  I decided that the "maths test" I'd scheduled for Wednesday was totally over the top (- why do I need to assess so much when we are at home?) and took a step back from what we are doing.

As a result yesterday went much much better.  I decided to try going over the score with encouragement which had (not surprisingly ) a positive affect on S and he loved it.  He spoke about his complaining and quite clearly has absolutely no concept of how difficult it can be on other people to hear complaining all the time.  He loved the new book report template.  He did struggle when he was to draw a picture (this is not one of his stronger areas) but we resolved that when I let him photocopy the picture he had in mind - he loves using the photocopier and we got through that hurdle straight away!  He completed the report no bother and now has a lovely report to show for the last book.  He even said at the end of the day that his book report had been his favourite piece of work that day! 

I have been very much reminded today that home schooling a child on the spectrum is hard hard work.  Nothing can be assumed and everyday can through up the same battles over and over again.  This can be very waring as a parent (+ teacher) but then on the flip side there are such wee gems of times where the penny drops or when there is an obvious feeling of security seen that the hard work pays off.  I really really need to get it into my head some of the things that the "spectrum" does definitely affect in the schooling process.  This week a lot of the problems have been me completely forgetting not only the spectrum issues but also S's language issues.  I can't forget these things for his sake!

With all that this week has taught me I'm going to look at next term differently again.  This term has been good to start the routine that Mon-Wed are desk days and Thursdays and Fridays are practical days.  I think we will carry that on.  However, I am going to not overload him next term.  An hour of maths and an hour of english are too much (and often he has been doing more) and so I'm going to reduce them both to half of that and try to include more variety in his tasks. 

What is the biggest surprise of all is that S is very keen to continue!  Despite my grumpiness and nagging him to write neatly, try harder etc etc he is so happy at home!  I am traumatised after a session of complaining and moaning yet he so quickly forgets all about that and has a great ability just to remember the productive parts and the bits where he achieved success!  I wish I was like that!  I am learning so much from him! 

Tomorrow my mum is coming to do some history and family history with him.  We are all looking forward to it very much.  I'm looking forward to seeing someone else working with him and it will be good to be out and about.  On Friday we are going "geocaching" with a neighbour - weather dependant which should be good too! 

So - that's our wee update for now!  Thanks for folks comments.  Again - they have made a massive difference to me and have helped me wise up at times or simply encouraged me to keep going!