I thought I would check in after our first week of home school for session 2013/2014.
It's been a positive start I am delighted to say! We have achieved a lot, there have been no raised voices and we have managed to leave the confines of the house twice this week! By Friday, hints of non-co-operation started to rear their ugly head but thankfully by that stage we had got through the bulk of the tasks for the week and so it was easy enough to keep S going.
I have been very aware this week of two things:
1.Academic jumps:
S is getting older and what he needs to learn is getting harder! So far on the whole I've not had to teach much that has challenged me and that I am not confident about. I do frequently laugh inside at the fact that I am teaching anybody maths and have solidified maths concepts in my own head let alone S's! However, particularly in Maths and English we are beginning to stray into territory that is out of my comfort zone and I can see that in not all that long a time I will need help!
2. Social skills:
By far I think this should be the area that I need to take most seriously. S has a lot to offer the world but if he cannot fit into the world then we have problems. He is in such a different place from when I took him out of school but I am very aware now of the areas where he needs so much help. For example, I met a friend of mine for lunch on Friday. S has been getting to know this friend too and feels comfortable with her. Before we left I suggested he might try to make conversation with her and you would have thought I was asking him to pull all her teeth out! He was horrified at the suggestion. S did chat through lunch but I couldn't help but notice how poor his eye contact was and how jumpy and edgy he was. After lunch the shop assistant commented on his football top and was very chatty about it. As she chatted away she commented that she didn't know why she was bothering as S was obviously not listening. S WAS listening but couldn't look at her. I never understood this part of autism until I went to the sensory seminar where they explained that it can actually be too painful for someone with autism to look straight on at someone. Imagine holding your hand above a candle. The normal reaction would to be to remove your hand as it started to burn because it would hurt. I suppose if eye contact is painful them it is no different here. S will be good with eye contact in a situation that he is very comfortable in (like his home) or somewhere very quiet or in a one-to-one but to be in a cafe, somewhere new with new tastes, sights, smells, sounds... that was pushing it to expect eye contact too! This though is my challenge. To help him to work out how to deal with this sort of situation without giving away that it's a real struggle for him and without raising any questions as to his coping. I actually think that this year these lessons will be far more valuable than anything I can teach him about mathematical or grammatical concepts.
So another week beckons. Getting out of the house twice was not enough for me last week. So, this week is full to the brim of structured times out and about. Can't wait! Hopefully S will be on good form to make this a good week.
Sunday, 25 August 2013
Monday, 19 August 2013
Motivation and Lists...
Well, here we go again! Another term is about to kick off leading into a whole new academic year. Forgive me now for the ramble this may be but I have spent seven hours today planning work and my brain feels a little like a raided filing cabinet crying out for order!
This morning as I sat at the desk I have to admit a real feeling of dread! I love my son dearly (I hope that is evident and not something I have to spell out!) but the cost of home schooling a child in emotional terms, particularly last term, has been big and having had a break I am quite apprehensive about starting again and finding it all too much. However, today has been good! I did check facebook a ridiculous number of times in the first few hours! I'm not exactly sure what I expected to see as pretty much all the friends i have were using their time far more industriously than me but it was a distraction that was there. I rebuilt our lego calendar, I counted out the weeks and worked my way through all the mundane tasks I could think of. There were a few turning points that did help my day. Let me share:
Motivator Number 1:
Let all that you do be done in love. —1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV)
This was posted on Facebook by one of my favourite Christian songwriters. (See Facebook wasn't a complete and utter waste of time!) I was quite struck by this. Over the weekend I have felt quite challenged by the fact that as a stay at home mum quite often the temptation is to feel like a bit of a sponger from the world. My children are all pretty good at entertaining themselves now and I feel quite redundant a lot of the time. My days are endless rounds of tidying up, cooking, cleaning and doing various mundane jobs over and over again. My children often only come and see me when they've got an issue to resolve with a sibling, they are bored or they are hungry. On the very rare occasion they do come and chat to me just because they'd like to talk to me, but that is definitely the exception rather than the rule! So, at the stage my children are at the temptation is very big to seek out some other sort of "life satisfaction" and role. My frustration of late has been that whilst the kids are all that bit older they still do need me! None of them are old enough to be left on their own and what I have been learning is that the security in knowing that I am there at all is so important to them. With a bigger family, one of whom needs a fair bit more input than 'normal' we are still well and truly at the stage of it being a complete headache to try to find babysitters for even the most mundane activity. So, it can be an easy road to travel down of feeling resentful and frustrated. However, this verse sums up how I have been feeling! Instead of seeing the kids as obstacles in the way I need to realise and appreciate what God given gifts they are! I have 4 little personalities that love to be at home, love to be near me and love to talk (normally all at once). Those conversations about the various issues I need to cherish and make the most of rather than feel frustrated with. All that I do needs to be "motivated by love" not just the jobs that I do for people out with my family. Isn't it easier sometimes to give family 2nd best? So, homeschool has to be motivated by love! I love my son but more importantly I love The Lord who gave us the gift of a son! My attitude I need to constantly reassess in order not to lose my focus and this verse I think I will keep at our desk!
Motivator Number 2:
Every week or so I get a whole batch of emails from the National Autistic Society. Today was my mailing day and one was to help parents help their children get back into school. Just glancing through the list of difficulties was an immediate wake up call to me! Here were parents battling with all that we were before we took S out of school and far far worse. Whenever I feel frustrated about how home school affects ME if I think about how school affects S I can feel quite upset quickly! I really don't know how much in me is sheltering S from the inevitable realities of a world that doesn't cope with people who don't conform to its view of 'normal' but ultimately I feel a huge responsibility to shelter my son from a world that he doesn't understand and as yet doesn't have the strategies to cope with. In the day to day living we can so easily forget S is on the spectrum but every now and again are very much reminded. Even in this past week it has been very clear. Out of all 4 children S has by far been the most agitated about term starting again. Over busy times during the summer his aggression has built up and he has needed to have 'time out' completely from any other person. His anxiety levels at not knowing what is going on at any time can be huge to the extent that if I open the door to go out to the buckets he needs to know where I'm going and if I'll be back! (I really struggle with that!) S is so so clever at giving the impression he understands scenarios and situations and that he's coping but at times over the summer I have seen an expression of sheer terror in his face as noise levels have exceeded what he can cope with and as he has struggled to make sense of a situation. This little boy I couldn't bare to put back to school. I don't cope when he doesn't cope! I just want to cry! But yet, at this time in life I have the chance to give him a calm environment at home where he is safe and loved and I need to remember that that is a blessing and a motivator!
Sorry - this really is a ramble!! I will draw my thoughts to a conclusion!
I've decided and realised that lists are crucial to our progress this term. I've decided that for my sanity I will resort to a weekly meal plan. I did this when our twins were babies and it was great. It's a bit dull and means that if you ever visit us on a Monday you'll be eating macaroni and bacon, but it helps my head!! I've also updated apps so that S has a list of what he'll be doing on each day, a list of tasks, lists of holidays, lists of pretty much everything really. This should help make our days smoother and more structured. I'm going to make more of an effort to ensure we leave the house far more during the week, once for coffee for me, once for a trip for him and once for shopping needed. That should help my claustrophobia and hopefully help him to feel a bit more confident out and about.
Other than that life will carry on as usual. Family life is up in the air! We have no idea where our family will be living in a couple of months but know that we will not be here. That is definitely adding a little bit more spice into life! For those of you who are praying for us thank you so much again and may I ask you keep doing so. That would really be my motivator number 3 and means so so much! I couldn't do this without you!
This morning as I sat at the desk I have to admit a real feeling of dread! I love my son dearly (I hope that is evident and not something I have to spell out!) but the cost of home schooling a child in emotional terms, particularly last term, has been big and having had a break I am quite apprehensive about starting again and finding it all too much. However, today has been good! I did check facebook a ridiculous number of times in the first few hours! I'm not exactly sure what I expected to see as pretty much all the friends i have were using their time far more industriously than me but it was a distraction that was there. I rebuilt our lego calendar, I counted out the weeks and worked my way through all the mundane tasks I could think of. There were a few turning points that did help my day. Let me share:
Motivator Number 1:
Let all that you do be done in love. —1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV)
This was posted on Facebook by one of my favourite Christian songwriters. (See Facebook wasn't a complete and utter waste of time!) I was quite struck by this. Over the weekend I have felt quite challenged by the fact that as a stay at home mum quite often the temptation is to feel like a bit of a sponger from the world. My children are all pretty good at entertaining themselves now and I feel quite redundant a lot of the time. My days are endless rounds of tidying up, cooking, cleaning and doing various mundane jobs over and over again. My children often only come and see me when they've got an issue to resolve with a sibling, they are bored or they are hungry. On the very rare occasion they do come and chat to me just because they'd like to talk to me, but that is definitely the exception rather than the rule! So, at the stage my children are at the temptation is very big to seek out some other sort of "life satisfaction" and role. My frustration of late has been that whilst the kids are all that bit older they still do need me! None of them are old enough to be left on their own and what I have been learning is that the security in knowing that I am there at all is so important to them. With a bigger family, one of whom needs a fair bit more input than 'normal' we are still well and truly at the stage of it being a complete headache to try to find babysitters for even the most mundane activity. So, it can be an easy road to travel down of feeling resentful and frustrated. However, this verse sums up how I have been feeling! Instead of seeing the kids as obstacles in the way I need to realise and appreciate what God given gifts they are! I have 4 little personalities that love to be at home, love to be near me and love to talk (normally all at once). Those conversations about the various issues I need to cherish and make the most of rather than feel frustrated with. All that I do needs to be "motivated by love" not just the jobs that I do for people out with my family. Isn't it easier sometimes to give family 2nd best? So, homeschool has to be motivated by love! I love my son but more importantly I love The Lord who gave us the gift of a son! My attitude I need to constantly reassess in order not to lose my focus and this verse I think I will keep at our desk!
Motivator Number 2:
Every week or so I get a whole batch of emails from the National Autistic Society. Today was my mailing day and one was to help parents help their children get back into school. Just glancing through the list of difficulties was an immediate wake up call to me! Here were parents battling with all that we were before we took S out of school and far far worse. Whenever I feel frustrated about how home school affects ME if I think about how school affects S I can feel quite upset quickly! I really don't know how much in me is sheltering S from the inevitable realities of a world that doesn't cope with people who don't conform to its view of 'normal' but ultimately I feel a huge responsibility to shelter my son from a world that he doesn't understand and as yet doesn't have the strategies to cope with. In the day to day living we can so easily forget S is on the spectrum but every now and again are very much reminded. Even in this past week it has been very clear. Out of all 4 children S has by far been the most agitated about term starting again. Over busy times during the summer his aggression has built up and he has needed to have 'time out' completely from any other person. His anxiety levels at not knowing what is going on at any time can be huge to the extent that if I open the door to go out to the buckets he needs to know where I'm going and if I'll be back! (I really struggle with that!) S is so so clever at giving the impression he understands scenarios and situations and that he's coping but at times over the summer I have seen an expression of sheer terror in his face as noise levels have exceeded what he can cope with and as he has struggled to make sense of a situation. This little boy I couldn't bare to put back to school. I don't cope when he doesn't cope! I just want to cry! But yet, at this time in life I have the chance to give him a calm environment at home where he is safe and loved and I need to remember that that is a blessing and a motivator!
Sorry - this really is a ramble!! I will draw my thoughts to a conclusion!
I've decided and realised that lists are crucial to our progress this term. I've decided that for my sanity I will resort to a weekly meal plan. I did this when our twins were babies and it was great. It's a bit dull and means that if you ever visit us on a Monday you'll be eating macaroni and bacon, but it helps my head!! I've also updated apps so that S has a list of what he'll be doing on each day, a list of tasks, lists of holidays, lists of pretty much everything really. This should help make our days smoother and more structured. I'm going to make more of an effort to ensure we leave the house far more during the week, once for coffee for me, once for a trip for him and once for shopping needed. That should help my claustrophobia and hopefully help him to feel a bit more confident out and about.
Other than that life will carry on as usual. Family life is up in the air! We have no idea where our family will be living in a couple of months but know that we will not be here. That is definitely adding a little bit more spice into life! For those of you who are praying for us thank you so much again and may I ask you keep doing so. That would really be my motivator number 3 and means so so much! I couldn't do this without you!
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
Ever so slightly overwhelmed...
So, the holidays are nearly over. We needed a holiday so badly! We have benefitted from the holiday so much yet this year my enthusiasm for home school is really struggling!
After the positivity of the end of term assessments, S's success at the kids club in the summer and the many positive compliments folks have paid as to what a difference they see in S you would think I would be raring to go and full of new ideas and excitement. The truth is though that S is growing up! He has changed this summer and I'm so aware of my responsibility more than ever to equip him to cope with the 'big bad world' and all that it holds! As his confidence has grown so has his desire to fit in and I now feel the pressure of needing to help him to do this and hopefully not fail at the first hurdle! With the prospect of a move coming ever closer for our family S has started talking about returning to school. I have such mixed emotions about this! Home school has been so isolating for me the thought of having some freedom during school hours for even just a while is a lovely thought! Even to have the option to take on some sort of work that is not within the 4 walls of my house would be great. However, for S to go back to school means my teaching will come under major scrutiny and I'm not quite sure my confidence levels will cope with that! I can justify my teaching methods til I'm blue in the face! I could use endless educational jargon to talk about what we've done, how we've done it and why we've done what we've done but ultimately I know how cynical teachers can be (I was one after all!) and when it's only me to blame for S's education then there's no-one else to blame!!
So, my anxiety levels are fairly high! The other kids go back to school on Friday so that will be one of the 2 in service days I'm giving myself! I'm hoping that by absorbing myself back into planning my confidence will return and we will start the year with enthusiasm, energy and optimism!
After the positivity of the end of term assessments, S's success at the kids club in the summer and the many positive compliments folks have paid as to what a difference they see in S you would think I would be raring to go and full of new ideas and excitement. The truth is though that S is growing up! He has changed this summer and I'm so aware of my responsibility more than ever to equip him to cope with the 'big bad world' and all that it holds! As his confidence has grown so has his desire to fit in and I now feel the pressure of needing to help him to do this and hopefully not fail at the first hurdle! With the prospect of a move coming ever closer for our family S has started talking about returning to school. I have such mixed emotions about this! Home school has been so isolating for me the thought of having some freedom during school hours for even just a while is a lovely thought! Even to have the option to take on some sort of work that is not within the 4 walls of my house would be great. However, for S to go back to school means my teaching will come under major scrutiny and I'm not quite sure my confidence levels will cope with that! I can justify my teaching methods til I'm blue in the face! I could use endless educational jargon to talk about what we've done, how we've done it and why we've done what we've done but ultimately I know how cynical teachers can be (I was one after all!) and when it's only me to blame for S's education then there's no-one else to blame!!
So, my anxiety levels are fairly high! The other kids go back to school on Friday so that will be one of the 2 in service days I'm giving myself! I'm hoping that by absorbing myself back into planning my confidence will return and we will start the year with enthusiasm, energy and optimism!
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